PLEASE (reduce emotional vulnerability)
Reduce emotional vulnerability by taking care of your body.
PLEASE is a skill for reducing your vulnerability to Emotion Mind. When your basic needs aren't met, you're much more likely to be overwhelmed by intense emotions. PLEASE helps you build a foundation of physical wellness.
The PLEASE Skill
- PL — Physical iLlness (treat it) — Take care of medical issues. Take prescribed medications. See your doctor when needed.
- E — Eating (balanced) — Eat regularly. Don't skip meals. Avoid too much sugar, caffeine, or processed food.
- A — Avoid mood-altering substances — Stay away from non-prescribed drugs and excessive alcohol.
- S — Sleep (enough) — Keep a regular sleep schedule. Practice good sleep hygiene. Aim for 7-9 hours.
- E — Exercise (regularly) — Move your body daily. Even 20 minutes of walking makes a difference.
Think of PLEASE as building a strong container. When your physical foundation is solid, you can hold more emotional intensity without overflowing.
Build Mastery
Alongside PLEASE, do one thing each day that gives you a sense of competence and achievement. This builds confidence and positive emotions over time. Start small — even making your bed counts.
Real-Life Examples
Scenario: You've been snapping at everyone all week — your partner, your coworker, the barista. Everything feels irritating and you can't figure out why. Skill in action: You run through PLEASE: You've been staying up until 1 AM scrolling your phone (Sleep). You skipped lunch three days in a row (Eating). You haven't gone for a walk in over a week (Exercise). Your baseline is wrecked. You commit to one change: in bed by 11 PM tonight. Within three days of better sleep, your fuse is noticeably longer.
Scenario: You're a college student during finals and your anxiety is off the charts. You feel like you're going to break down at any moment. Skill in action: You check your PLEASE basics: you've been living on energy drinks and ramen (Eating + Avoid mood-altering substances), sleeping 4 hours a night (Sleep), and haven't moved your body in days (Exercise). You can't eliminate the stress of finals, but you CAN eat a real meal, take a 20-minute walk, and get 7 hours tonight. Your emotional resilience improves immediately.
Scenario: You've been feeling increasingly depressed and hopeless, and nothing seems to help. Skill in action: Before adding more coping strategies, you check your physical foundation: you realize you stopped taking your medication two weeks ago because the pharmacy was out (treat Physical iLlness), you've been drinking wine every night to "relax" (Avoid mood-altering substances), and you stopped exercising when it got cold outside. You refill your prescription, swap wine for tea, and do a 15-minute YouTube workout. Not a cure-all, but it stops the freefall.