How Skills (Non-judgmentally, One-mindfully, Effectively)

"How" to practice mindfulness: Non-judgmentally (no evaluations), One-mindfully (one thing at a time), and Effectively (focus on what works).

The "How" skills tell you how to practice any mindfulness activity. While the "What" skills (Observe, Describe, Participate) tell you what to do, the "How" skills guide the manner in which you do them.

Non-judgmentally

See things as they are, not as good or bad, right or wrong. Drop evaluative labels and stick to the facts.

  • Do: "I notice I'm having the thought that I failed."
  • Don't: "I'm such a failure. This is terrible."
  • When you catch yourself judging, don't judge the judging — just notice it and return to describing.
Non-judgmental doesn't mean approval. You can dislike something and still describe it without judgment. Saying 'this is hard' is a description; saying 'this shouldn't be happening' is a judgment.

One-mindfully

Do one thing at a time. When you eat, eat. When you walk, walk. When you worry, worry — but do only that.

  • Put your full attention on the current activity
  • When your mind wanders, gently bring it back
  • Let go of distractions — you can return to them later
  • If you're in a conversation, listen fully instead of planning your response
One-mindfully is the antidote to multitasking and scattered attention. It's not about doing things slowly — it's about doing them with your whole self.

Effectively

Focus on what works. Do what is needed in the situation, not what is 'fair' or 'right' according to your emotions.

  • Play by the rules (even if you didn't write them)
  • Act as skillfully as you can — not perfectly
  • Let go of vengeance, useless anger, and righteousness that gets in the way
  • Keep your eyes on your goals — ask: 'What do I want from this situation?'
Effectiveness means choosing the action that moves you toward your goal — even if it's not the action your emotions urge.

Putting It Together

You always practice one 'What' skill at a time (Observe OR Describe OR Participate), but you practice all three 'How' skills simultaneously. Whatever you're doing, do it non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively.

Resources